After my 2nd child was born, I lost a lot of weight. I'm not exactly
sure why. I think partly my daughter was premature; partly I was nursing exclusively*; and
partly I had a toddler + infant and refused to accept help**, so I was always running
around and never eating... I had a 4-month-old and wore a size 0.
Anyway, that year that I was so crazy thin, women were always giving me breathtakingly rude, backhanded compliments. One woman said to me, "Your friends must hate
you." I could've slapped her. But also, I've always wondered about the subtext to that comment. Did she believe that my thinness made other
women look bad? Made them look -- what? Lazy? Did she believe that I
had an obligation to look a certain way post-childbirth?
As soon as I went back to my standard weight (when Sasha finally weaned) all the criticism stopped. It was a very weird experience.
* For the longest time she refused to drink from a bottle. Re-fu-sed. If she was hungry and her dad tried to feed her, she'd scream bloody murder. No joke. We used to call her Decibella.
** The following summer I was sick for a month -- I had a stomach virus for a month -- and that cured me forever of my independent streak!
Prompted by jo(e).
3 comments:
I frequently have the experience of seeing people (probably always women) after a few years and having them exclaim: "You've lost weight!" But I generally haven't. I can tell this because (aside from the 2 pregnancies and some months afterwards) I wear the same size clothes. In many cases the *same* clothes. It's always sort of awkward. Do they not remember what I looked like? Are their memories of my size inflated? Is it that my face has become gaunt? It's just a bit unsettling. Part of me thinks that these women mean it to be a compliment, but I don't think commenting on someone's size should be a compliment. If they think I look good, can't they just say, "you look good"?
The same thing happened to me, minus (for the most part) the rude comments. I was the skinniest ever right after I gave birth and until I weaned. And yet I still feel like I have to apologize for this when it comes up - which is dumb.
Me three. Before I weaned the YD, I was almost down to my teenaged weight. My doctor recommended jam sandwiches mid afternoon.
The only time I consider someone's weight to be my business is if I am seated next to a very wide person in an airplane. Our social rules make it far too important.
I have just finished my Easter chocolate bunny down to the tail and do not regret a bite.
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