Holes in the lawn

I feed our squirrels. I don't feed them regularly and I don't feed them much, as they are already the nation's fattest squirrels (they eat ponderosa pine nuts). I use the food as a lure. I want those squirrels to spend time on the deck, where my children can see them.

The other day, however, my daughter discovered a bag of unshelled peanuts in the pantry. She shouted, "Squirrel food!" and, before anyone could stop her, dumped the entire bag outside. My neighbor and her children stopped by and we all squatted down to eat some, but really, a whole lotta peanuts remained on the deck.

Throughout that day the squirrels frenzied. Usually not more than one squirrel visits at a time -- they're not family-oriented creatures, those squirrels -- but that day we had up to three of them racing down the ponderosa that grows through the hole in the deck, grabbing a peanut, racing back up. I noticed them burying peanuts in my flower pots. They buried peanuts in all the dirt I loosened for gardening. They made me laugh. The phrase "He's acting squirrelly" has a vivid meaning for me now.

What I forgot is that the squirrels don't live only at my house and, you know, they're not universally beloved. The next evening I heard my kind, elderly neighbor, the one with the lovely green lawn (the only one with a lovely green lawn), shooing at them. When my husband came home she asked if he had noticed their odd behavior. "They're burying things in my yard!" she cried.

Oooops.